


Filling in the Blanks

by lasairfhiona



Category: Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-06
Updated: 2011-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 08:40:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasairfhiona/pseuds/lasairfhiona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based on the episode "The Deadliest Game"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Filling in the Blanks

+++++

Chip sat quietly on his bunk his head in his hands and breathed a sigh of relief. The crisis was over. This one had hit too close to home. Lee and the President in Deep Center. Treason. Nuclear war. And the worst of all – the moment the monitor going off telling him Harry was dead. The sheer panic ripped into him before duty kicked in and *made* him continue and at least try to save the President and his best friend.

All he'd wanted to do when he and Sharkey broke through the door only to be welcomed by Harry with a cocky grin on his face was kiss him, although giving him a good shaking for scaring the hell out of him also crossed his mind. Again duty and good judgment won out and Chip found himself involved in Harry's plan to save the world. Destroying the beam wasn't what gave his lover the sense of accomplishment of a job well done. No, Chip knew that moment came when he was able to arrest General Hobson. There was nothing Harry hated more than treason. He could agree or disagree with an administration, but Harry was loyal to his country a trait he often admired in Harry.

Now it was all over. The President was safe and backing Washington. Lee was safe and back on Seaview where he belonged. The idea of Deep Center hadn't been a total failure but its protocols were sure to be changed and much more secure in the future. Now he could allow himself to sort through the emotions he's stuffed down so he could do his job.

The enormity of those feelings caught him off guard. His body shook with silent sobs as tears ran down his face. Losing the President would have impacted them all. Losing Lee would have left a hole in him not readily healed but losing Harry. Chip doubted he would ever recover from that. They had been lovers since the Seaview project began and he'd loved his Admiral even longer.

Chip never heard his cabin door open and close again so the quiet "Chip?' had him scrambling to wipe away the tears before Harry saw them. With one last swipe of his hand, Chip looked up and knew he'd failed to hide his tears when he saw the look of concern on Harry's face.

"Chip? What's wrong?" Harry asked, coming to sit on the bunk next to him and wrapping an arm around his back.

"Nothing," Chip answered, trying to be blasé about his display of emotion. Worrying Harry was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Nothing Chip?" Harry asked, reaching out to turn his lover's face toward him and wipe away a tear.

"Everything just caught up with me, I guess," Chip finally admitted unable to look away because of Harry's hold on his chin. "You know, with Deep Center and all that."

Harry nodded. "Is that all?" he asked pushing to get at what he knew had to be at the core of Chip uncharacteristic display.

"Isn't that enough?" Chip asked in reply stubbornly refusing to broach the real subject of his outburst. How did he tell Harry once again he'd been scared for his life and had to face the possibility of his death? No matter how much he wanted to wrap Harry in cotton to protect him, he couldn’t.

"You thought I was dead," Harry stated matter of factly, broaching the subject Chip had refused to.

Pulling away from Harry, Chip got up and crossed the room. He stood facing Harry with his back against the opposite wall. "Yes, dammit. I thought you were dead," he stated harshly. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Do you want to know how it felt when that damn alarm went off? Do you want to know how this time was worse than all the other times?"

"Chip…" Harry tried to soothe his lover. Crossing the room, he stood in front of Chip and tried to take him in his arms.

Breaking away from Harry again, Chip once again put the room between him and Harry. "This time I was going to have to walk into that building and see your dead body. I'd have to see what they had done to you. How they had killed you. It wouldn't be like you being eaten by that whale, or being kidnapped or lost at sea where there would be no body to recover and bring home. No this time I would have had to face your death instead of deluding myself that just maybe you were out there somewhere." Chip's ranting trailed off and he slid down the door he'd been leaning on while tears once again rolled down his face. 'I don't know how much more of this I can take," was the last thing he said between gulps of air.

Harry stood there, stunned by Chip's revelation as well as his lover's seemingly willingness to end their relationship because of what had happened. They had been together for so long and through so much that he didn't think about how Chip would react to his being in danger. "I'm sorry," Harry whispered as he sat on the floor facing Chip, their knees almost touching. He knew those two words wouldn't be enough, not nearly, but maybe they could pave a path to start with. "What if I promise to be more careful?"

Chip tried to laugh but ended up coughing instead. "Don't make promises you can't keep," he said, knowing Harry would rush off to save the world at the drop of a hat.

"I don't want to lose you. I need you too much," Harry declared reaching out for Chip.

Being wrapped in Harry's embrace could almost make him forget everything but the love and passion they shared. Almost. The buzz of the alarm still rang in his ears and it's meaning still hung at the fringes of his mind. "You have a hell of a way of showing it Harry," Chip replied sarcastically, pulling back to put some space between he and Harry.

"What do you want me to do? Tell me and I'll do it."

"I don't know Harry. I really don't know how much more I can take. Telling you to be careful doesn't do the trick. Nor does having someone waiting who loves you more than I ever thought possible. Nothing seems to do the trick," Chip accused. He didn't voice the one thing that had been niggling at the back of his mind. The reason why Harry was willing to take such risks with his life now where he hadn't before. He couldn't think of that. Not if there was any possibility that Harry didn't love him as much as he once had. He refused to allow himself to be pathetic enough to ask and he refused to stay where he was no longer wanted.

"Chip please," Harry said, almost begging as he tried to pull Chip closer. "I love you. I need you. Knowing you are waiting for me makes me fight harder to get back. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you waiting for me," he admitted, telling his long time lover things he'd never admitted before and maybe should have made sure Chip knew a long time ago.

"Oh Harry," Chip sighed, leaning toward his lover as they sat side by side, facing one another. Harry met him half way and they rested their foreheads together. "What are we going to do?" he asked. He knew this mission had brought all of his insecurities to a head. Normally he was secure in Harry's feelings for him but this time facing his death had brought long resolved self-doubt to life again.

"Love each other?" Harry replied, turning just enough so he could gently kiss Chip.

"I'd like to say, that's a given but I don't know anymore. It's so hard every time you are in danger," Chip answered sadly, giving voice to his fear.

"It's a given Chip," Harry soothed, reassuring his lover. "And as long as we're together we'll think of a way to make it work," Harry said knowing that if they were together they could do anything. He could do anything. He honestly didn't know what he would do if Chip were no longer part of his life. Chip was so much more than just his lover. Chip inspired him to follow through with his "hair-brained" ideas as they were often called at first.

"Yeah," Chip agreed. As long as they were together. Standing up, he held out his hand to Harry and pulled his lover to his feet. "Let's go lay down and remind each other how much we need the other." He needed time with Harry. He needed to feel him alive over him and in him. Now more than ever in the past. He needed to repair the holes that thinking Harry was dead left in his heart and soul.

Harry didn't respond, in words that is. He stopped and pulled Chip back to him. He proceeded to show his blonde lover how much he was loved by the depth of their kiss and the gentle kisses and caresses he plied Chip with as he stripped the uniform off his lover until Chip stood naked in front of him.

Somehow Chip managed to strip Harry of his uniform, taking him down to his boxers before he was pushed back onto the narrow bunk. He knew everything would be all right when he felt Harry's stocky body covering him, pressing him into the thin mattress. He relished the feel of the crisp ginger coloured hair tickling his chest and Harry's legs twining with his as their erections were pressed together. This was what he needed and where he'd felt out of sorts before, he began to feel whole again. Harry's loving was filling in the blanks and repairing the tears his heart had suffered.

the end


End file.
